PROOF THAT PREHISTORIC U.S. CONGRESS EXISTED IN SOUTHERN UTAH

A heretofore unknown species of dinosaur fossils has been discovered in southern Utah.

COMMENTS:
This particular fossil was found buried in a huge pile of petrified prehistoric national debt dung and was evidently an ancient ancestor to Nancy Pelosi; it had nine-inch-long nails.

TODAY’S QUERIES & ANSWERS:
Q. You’re just about the only guy around who likes it when it gets this hot. How come? (Tessie – Big Bend, CA)
A. You see, when it gets this hot, I grab a plate and head for Hat Creek and just hold the plate out over the water. The fish jump out and land right on the plate. Today, however, was not a good day. A good day is when the baked potato and the sour cream land on the plate at the same time as the fish.

Q. I’m starting college in the fall and want to get into the health care field as a professional. What do you recommend? (Felix – Goleta, CA)
A. I recommend that you become a proctologist because, if the government keeps spending and taxing like it is, everyone in the country will be needing proctologists by the time you graduate and get Board Certification.

Q. Why was California Senator Barbara Boxer trying to put down Harry Alford of the National Black Chamber of Commerce in a Senate Hearing? (Candi – Sand Point, ID)
A. She’s upset that Nancy Pelosi has been getting more negative press coverage than she has.

TODAY’S QUOTE:
“There are worse things than death. For example, how would you like to be in charge of public relations for a Member of Congress?” - Unknown Scribbler

TODAY’S VIDEO:
http://www.militarytimes.com/multimedia/video/rpg_surgery/