NAKED MAN DISCOVERED IN CEMETERY

In Elkhart, Indiana, a 51-year-old man told police he was naked in a cemetery because he had taken off his wet clothes while stopping to check on his in-laws' grave, and then wanted to take a closer look at some flowers. The man said he had been golfing all day and that he undressed in his truck because his underwear was wet. He said he left his truck naked to look at the flowers because he did not have his glasses.

COMMENTS:
Since he didn’t have his glasses, he probably missed all of his damn putts, which would be a real pisser and would account for his pants being wet. Sounds to me as if this guy is getting ready to run for Congress so he can be with all of the rest of the nation’s loonies.

TODAY’S QUERIES & ANSWERS:
Q. Why are Congressmen and used car salesmen alike? (Shilo – Beowawe, NV)
A. Any time they tell you what a great deal it is, they’re lying through their teeth.

Q. Why are you against the Health Care Plan? (Rastus – Cherokee, OK)
A. Most Americans (including me) agree that the rising costs of health care are horrible, and also that those costs prevent too many Americans from having access to decent health care. But, what is being talked about in Congress right now is having government actually run health care. If you want to know what that would be like…. Remember those stories just a year or so ago about the deplorable conditions in many of our nation’s V.A. hospitals and clinics? How about the Indian Health Service, an agency of the Department of Health and Human Services that would be overseeing our new national plan? There’s more money spent of health care for illegal aliens in prison than for Native Americans on reservations, and the quality of care is generally better. Do you want to lower your expectations for medical care for you and your family to those standards?

Q. Why did Visa charge that guy $23,148,855,308,184,500 for a pack of cigarettes? (Twilah – Savannah, GA)
A. The cigarettes were $4.95. The rest was taxes to cover his share of the TARP, Stimulus, Energy Cap & Trade, and Health Care bills.

TODAY’S QUOTE:
“Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't; they got worse.” – Will Rogers

TODAY’S VIDEO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2BgjH_CtIA&feature=player_embedded