Although he's running again this year, Frederick Ramirez, a Pennsylvania Democrat, ran for the State Legislature in 2017 and was disqualified because he didn't spend enough time in his required residence. Records showed he was billed for only 95 gallons of water between March
2016 and January 2017, or less than two flushes a month, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer. This proves beyond a reasonable doubt that if he actually lived in his claimed residence during that time, he must literally be full of shit.
The chief question about the possible upcoming summit between President Trump and North Korea's Kim Jong un is whether or not Kim will be allowed to bring along his rubber duckies...
Word has it that Hillary Clinton has been holed up in her Chappaqua mansion working with Sidney Blumenthal and James Comey while writing her next blockbuster, tell all dossier...
They have this video of a bikini-clad woman riding a horse into a Miami Beach bar. While this brings to mind a whole slew of bar jokes, the matter is being taken seriously; they're investigating the bar for animal cruelty, probably because they had no barley.
Why is it that I keep getting Corey Lewandowski confused with Monica Lewinsky?
Evidently faced with the prospect of widening their aisles to accommodate obese customers, Walmart has decided to partner with Weight Watchers instead. A vast array of meal options, which have already rolled out to over 250
stores, will be made and assembled fresh in-store daily. Options include
pre-portioned kits for steak Dijon, basic garlic chicken, sweet chili
chicken stir fry, and pork Florentine; Thai curry chicken and chicken
fried rice rotisserie meals; and one-step heat-up chicken Alfredo,
cheesy ravioli, meatloaf, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken Parmesan,
pulled beef, curry chicken, pot roast, and chicken enchiladas. Potatoes, gravy and cheesecake are not on the menu.
Rather than allowing trained teachers and staff members to carry concealed weapons in schools, the move is on to design bullet-proof clothes and backpacks for the kids.
A very high 20-year-old South Carolina woman, formerly a straight A student, gouged her eyes out in front of a church as a sacrifice to God. It will be most difficult for her to see her way out of this situation...
The Utah State Bar Association sent out a picture of a topless woman to all members. The photo was sent in an email advertising their upcoming annual spring convention in St. George. An investigation is ongoing and officials are hoping that the culprit will make a clean breast of it.
That's it for this posting; the gin bottle is now empty.
TODAY'S QUOTE:
"The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron." ~ Phyllis Diller
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